The Fluffy Bunny Story
by River Laren
Summary: Because taking Sakura to a festival might not be the best idea in the world. Crack, FLUFF, Oneshot.


**A/N: It's the plot bunnies fault, I promise! That and Ohwhatsherface's stories. This is kinda a late father's day fic. **

**Warning: Crack, Fluff, and Naruto. Need I say more? **

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, do you think Sasuke would be a maniac right now? Really? **

**The Fluffy Bunny Story**

Sasuke could no believe this. He had seen things that defied nature (i.e. Naruto singing), amazing bloodline traits, and other things that stretched the imagination. But this, well, _it. Was. Ridiculous. _And that was putting it nicely.

It all started when Sakura decided it would be 'cute' (he should have smelled trouble coming when she uttered that word) to go to the festival they were currently having in the village. It was some stupid celebration of some long ago event that had probably caused him and others more pain than it was worth. And now they had to 'commemorate' the event by a stupid party.

But Sakura pulled the, "you owe me" line; which, he admitted, was true. Yeah, he had hurt her in various ways to varying degrees at various times. But that didn't mean she needed to come up with various horrific punishments for him. And yeah, she had married him despite all of it and given him a strong (yes he was handsome, duh!) son that he loved very much. That still didn't mean he was going to go to a festival with her and walk around Konoha aimlessly while trying to ignore the insults people threw his way and being utterly bored as she talked and gossiped with every woman she saw (and yes, there were lots of them) while hoping to avoid _another_ confrontation between her and his fangirls, because frankly, he wasn't in the mood. And he told her so.

"Fine," Sakura stated after flipping her hair (which was a _code red_) "I'll ask Rock Lee to take me."

Sasuke had lost the ensuing fight, thus leading to his presence at the stupid "we should be happy but I don't remember why" festival. At least he had his boy with him. That kept Sakura close and the visit to civilization hopefully short. _Hopefully._

Sakura buzzed around to each stall, admiring _everything_, buying _everything_. As the day wore on, Sasuke felt his wallet grow extremely lighter. But he let her have her way because (although he'd never admit it) he enjoyed seeing her happy. Apparently so did Katashi. The two year old wouldn't stop babbling or bouncing. Sasuke drew the line when he yanked his hair, gently removing the boy's clenched fingers from the black locks. His son had strong fingers and good 'balance' to the grip. _He will make an excellent shinobi, _Sasuke smirked.

And that was when they had come to the last stall.

And that was when Sakura let out a wild exclamation and rushed the poor merchant.

And that was also when Sasuke knew he was about to regret _ever_ agreeing to this. He was about to be humiliated. He was about to be disgraced in public. He _was_ being disgraced in public. As was his family. He could just _imagine _his father rolling over in his grave. It was a very grotesque image.

"Sasuke-kun, _look _at this! Isn't it _cuuute?_" Sakura cooed.

Sasuke knew he was doomed. He remained resolutely in the crowd. Perhaps he could slip off without her noticing. Maybe he could spare Katashi from this embarrassment... He began to edge away from the crowd. A few more steps and he could disappear into that alleyway and then he would be able to return home before Sakura could wade through the crowd and catch him. If she caught him running away he would be-

A cold but soft hand grabbed the back of his collar. –officially road kill. "Come look, _Sasuke-kuun_! It's sooo _cuuuute_! It would be perfect for Katashi-kun!"

At the use of the suffix, he knew it was over. Sasuke looked down at his son and mouthed, "I'm sorry."

Sakura dragged him back to the both and turned him around so that he could better see the new item that had caught her attention. Still he only caught a glimpse of white before she stuffed it his face. "See!" She exclaimed enjoying this more than should be humanly possible. "It's just the right size too!" At the word "size" he shivered.

Pushing her hand away slightly so he could breathe, he asked, "What _is_ it, dear?" He hoped that by using the term of endearment he could pacify her and maybe avoid a complete catastrophe.

She had already grabbed Katashi from him and began dressing him in the (furry?) white stuff. Sasuke began to panic. "Doesn't he look cute?" Sasuke shook his head, but his wife was no longer paying attention to him. "Yes he _does_, don't you, my little _Kat-kun_?" She crooned.

"Sakura, _calm down_," Sasuke ordered swiftly. This could _not_ be happening. In public.

Sakura looked at him as she flipped up the hood, revealing _BUNNY EARS_. Katashi blinked his charcoal eyes and reached out to his father. Sasuke frowned at the carrot on the costume's palm. This was just _wrong_. His little boy was supposed to become the most powerful shinobi in the village (eventually leading to Hokage, of course) and be hailed as a hero throughout all five shinobi nations; _not_ be forced to submit to fluffy rabbit costumes. This would probably scar him for life and ruin his career in the future. How could he be an ANBU when he was mocked as being a "scared little rabbit".

"What's the matter, Sasuke-kun. Isn't he cute? _I want one._" She stated with mock happiness, though he could _clearly_ see her gritted teeth through her fake smile.

"No." He loved her, but there was a limit to what he was going to allow her to do to his reputation. He quickly pulled Katashi out of the ridiculous outfit and placed the boy on his shoulders, sufficiently out of his crazed mother's reach. "You are _not_ putting _that_," he pointed for emphases, "on my son."

Sakura's eyes narrowed. "But I _want_ one."

Sasuke considered his options; he really didn't want to make her upset, but there was no good way to smooth this over. "I'll buy you a real rabbit."

"I want a fluffy bunny suit!" She was starting to sound like a two year old.

He scowled. "Katashi is acting better than you, Sakura. I said that I would buy you a real rabbit, that's all."

"He's _your_ son, is that it?" He could tell she was playing her last card.

"Exactly. When we have a daughter she can be yours." Sasuke regretted saying that instantly. What had he just subjected the poor girl to?

Sakura frowned in contemplation a minute. "Alright, I'll settle for a really fluffy bunny and a baby girl. _Then_ I want the bunny suit!"

Sasuke frowned. "…Fine."

She dragged him to the rabbit stall. After the purchase was made she dragged him home. Sasuke sighed and wondered why he put himself through such torture.

"Th'nk 'ou for n't making 'e play bunny, 'Tou-san," Katashi whispered in his ear as they entered the house. Sasuke smiled. That was why.

**A/N: So review please? **


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